Convergence

On episode 4 of Convergence, dancing with the universe,

why time is not a shirt and gross, outdoor advertising.

At the end of the last episode, I thought you said something really cool.

I don't really have anything to add to, but just wanted to reiterate how beautiful I thought it was.

You said that the things that you were working on were kind of more heart and head related.

And the project I was working on was a bit more body and I had spirit related.

And I feel like you hadn't had a heart in me in the body and the spirit, full spread coverage of

what we've got to hold us.

We've got a whole plus.

What we're aiming for.

Yeah, it's really, it's really quite cool.

Yeah, I think my body's to come.

It's not its time yet, but it's definitely coming.

Like, yeah, the heart and the brain brought me back to three is the magic number.

The heart and the brain and the body gives you three.

And that's a magic number.

So it appears that if you're in a vest might be dancing with me.

Oh, nice.

It's not going to be happy with you.

That you're starting to do some.

You explained it to me.

Yeah.

What's the dance?

So, you know, we've been having this conversation about what we truly want.

And one of the things, it just came unbidden to my brain a couple of, I don't know,

it was last week, it was like, something you miss is radio.

Like, and wouldn't it be fun to actually do some real radio on a real radio station

or just not have to be big, but wouldn't that be fun?

And it was just one of those things.

I was just like, put it in my head.

I didn't really sort of wish for it or anything because I just thought,

well, I know how much is involved in that and how much work it's involved.

And I'm sort of fairly good where I am now.

But yeah, no, it'd be lovely.

Today someone asked me if I wanted to join a radio station.

Wow.

Wow.

I love it.

What is that like a serious opportunity?

Yeah, I don't think it might not be paid.

But this would be the first time that I was asked as opposed to

can I join your radio station, please?

I was invited.

Nice.

Wow.

Yeah, that's the university.

It's for sure.

Yeah.

There's, yeah, I'm vibrating a little bit today because there's been a few of those

things that have been sort of just ping and often all sorts of stuff that's been happening just

this last week or so.

And I've kind of got a...

It's weird.

I need to kind of take some time to put all of these

nice little...

They're not all opportunities, but they're all, you know, threads.

I've got to kind of put them in order because I don't want to...

I don't want any of them to flap away in the breeze.

Like, I want to make sure that I can, you know, not grip them too tightly, but at least

put them in order somewhere so that I can address them and so they don't fly away.

And so if you hear a tideness in my voice today, it's because I am tired because I've been...

this is called number five and one of them was a live stream and the other one went on for two hours.

Oh wow.

Yeah.

And with with with with with with my friend and literally just hopped off the this call to our

call with my friend that I'd talked about when we first discussed manifestation and how the frustration

that I'd had and we walked through it all. We talked through it all.

Awesome. And we had a really good conversation about it and at some point she's going to have to come

on the podcast, I think. Oh absolutely.

And it was wonderful, you know, with all the stuff that she's talked about about a self-hip

no-sist and and the universe to to hear that that's what I'm expecting.

I mean, her head nearly exploded when I told her I was, I was, you know, getting into manifestation

and it was wonderful. So I spent, I spent, I spent going on for you this week.

Well, you mentioned a little idea. So we moved the back end of our podcast planning system into

notion because you'd like notion works for you. I don't really care. You do most of the work anyway.

But then you propose this cute little plan of streamlining the audio publishing to be within notion.

And you just needed to do a little coding to do it. And at first I was just like, yeah, sure.

Whatever. I mean, great. I appreciate you running it by me, but like this,

I can't, whatever. But then it hit me in two ways, both in the, in the, to be magnetic way

and the any-a-gram way that we've kind of touched on. And I was just kind of, I wanted to,

I wanted to bring that up and kind of poke it you a little bit with hopefully not the, like,

whenever I, whenever I gently call somebody out because it's, this is gentle. It's, it's not, you did nothing wrong.

But I don't really feel like I did. He did not. You did not. You did not. You did nothing wrong. You'd

actually, you marked so hard and it was really great. No, no, no, I don't like being a fan.

I'm signing. Okay, I'm just going to, I'm going to be intentionally comfortable for the

next month. Yeah. I'm just going to, this is the safe place. This is the safe place where I am telling you

things. No, I, I, I, I saw, I saw you wanting to do this, actually, a little project. In the,

in the spirit of making things easier and nicer and, and, in a creative fashion and unique and,

a bit of putting your own effort into it and everything. And, on the, on the, on the, any

agram side, being a nine, we're both doing dominant and doing repressed. So we, we take in things

by doing, so we process things by doing, that's how, that's how we understand the world. So,

in that regard, this is perfect. But we're also doing repressed, which means not that we don't do

things. We do a lot of things. But that, the doing that we do is unproductive. It's not towards our goals.

It's not getting us where we want to unless we check ourselves and, and address that. And this could be

something that's very productive. It could be in, you know, in the short term or long term. It could

make things easier and then you spend less time doing the rest of the stuff. But it also could be

that that it's a side track that it's a side quest, an extra adventure, a dayl, say, yeah.

And then it also, that also made me think of, like, well, how do you know if it's

productive? Like, how do you know if that's going to be the good path for you? And that's where I

feel like the TBM of side comes in with your authentic code and the line to action based on your

authentic code. And I can't remember your four pillars, except for, except for movement and play,

will right now.

It's not engagement, expression.

Expression. Yeah. And so I don't know, like, if you run those, if you run the notion coding to get

the podcasting through notion, if that aligns with any of those four pillars, and, you know,

those four pillars are what will get you to, you know, the dream life and that's like the idea at least.

And so yeah, that just came, that came to mind. And I wanted to, you know, in terms of us being

accountability buddies and, you know, in this, in this group to be literally calling each other out

and showing each other or weak spots and stuff, that was the spirit in which I wanted to bring this up.

And also, in turn, I do also want to be called out. Like, I really want to be called out, guys.

I had an app idea that I shared with our friend UV. I told him, man, I really want to be listening to music,

but I also really want to be listening to podcasts. I wish I could make an app where one year would

hear podcasts and one year would hear music. And that way, I could, I could get both done at the same time. And I could still

cheat, you know, I still up the podcast speed to one and a half speed or something like that and just spit out. And he told me

that idea sounds productivity, productivity, productivity bankrupt, like that's just,

and I really appreciate that feedback, because it's like, that's stuck with me, like, okay,

that's trying to do too much. And so that I wouldn't be doing anything. But that was my, that was my thought

about the notion coding. Part of the space that's, and none of that is wrong. I don't reject any of it. I accept all of it. Thank you.

And also to say, I haven't done anything about it. Part of the thinking was,

I've been a bit frustrated with Bramble, because it's come. So Bramble is the podcast platform that I've been

building started at the end of May, the furious action, lots of doing. And I met a crossroads that I

did not expect to be three weeks ago when we started this podcast. And that that very real crossroads is

is Bramble in alignment. And it sort of breaks my heart a little bit, because this so much to be proud of there.

But I'm also now that it's being exposed to more people. I'm seeing where it's broken, with you know,

whether there are bits that need to be fixed. And I'm not excessively motivated to fix those issues,

which tells me something. The notion of it all, the idea of the notion thing was basically,

I want to keep making podcasts. I want to keep making helping people make podcasts.

I do so much in notion anyway. And I've, in some ways, been trying to replicate what a notion

does in Bramble. Why don't I just say screw it, cut out them, based not cut out the middle

but it introduced a new middle man. And just take out a lot of the work that I've been doing. And actually,

you know, just say, put the audio in notion and then you get a podcast out. And there's lots and lots of

sort of things that make that not ideal, but it's a fun idea to play with. And that was kind of it,

really, it was just a fun idea to play with. It also insight of thinking is Bramble the thing. And I thought

it was. And then I started to really sit down and think about, yeah, where I want to go, what I want

to do, what does life look like if I'm not constantly doggy paddling and there's a lot of doggy paddling

involved in Bramble. And also the fact that, you know, and I mean, hindsight will make you look at things

in all sorts of different ways. But when I've had conversations with people in the industry,

no one has thought that Bramble was a particularly good idea. Because of the climate and because of

where we are and why would you be in incumbent, why would you be in an upstart and, you know, when, you know,

there's sort of people going, I think we solve this, I think we solve this, I think we solve hosting,

like we're good. And there are still people doing it. There's still people starting up new things.

But, you know, the fact that that's sort of the reaction, contrast that with when I have conversations

with other people, I tell them about it. That sounds great. But there is still

conversations around how is it different. And I don't know that I've really satisfactorily answered that

other than saying, yeah, but it's mine. Who's doing it the way I want to do it? And it's not doing

it all the way I want to do it just yet. But it's doing it some of the way I want to, you know, um,

I mean, you're on this story in me. Yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly. And, you know, I can be kind to

myself and recognize how much it took, how long it took to build podiums and how, and some of the sacrifices

involved in that and the dissatisfaction and the, you know, um, and all those kind of things and just sort of

going, yeah, do I want to be there again? Um, when I can see an alternative route, because I think that was

the thing, you know, in May, I didn't see the alternative route. I didn't see the idea of what might

it mean if I can be paid to support people with their creative work. Um, and do I have a bit of

ability right now to test that and see if there is something in it and, you know, I've got, I've got

a bit of leeway at the moment. I don't feel like I'm scrambling. Um, and do I have time to do that

and ramble now? What makes it awkward at the moment is there is, you know, one of the person using

Bramble who is not me. Um, and so that's that, that's a whole question for another day and maybe a

bullet that has to be bit, but, um, better to do that sooner. Um, but yeah, so it was sort of

all coming from that place of like, I love this thing, but I don't know if it's what's going to

serve me long term. I don't know if it's the right thing right now. Um, but, um, and, and trying to,

as I saw from doing as, as what feels like a nine thing, do my way out of the problem,

rather than not do. Um, and, and that's, yeah, and, and sort of realizing that, I think is why

I haven't done anything, you know, and instead I made a silly game, um, in an evening, which I still

enjoy, um, and that, you know, I played and it's quite fun. Um, and I worked on my Christmas song,

and that's what I did this week, you know, um, and that felt a lot, a lot more good, uh, than, um,

than than, than, than, than, than, Brambleing, um, which is just, yeah, it's such a weird thought

and there's so much baggage that comes with it. Um, because, you know, I can look at the website and go,

even that website itself had about four iterations because I wanted to get it right, and I wanted

to get the messaging right, and, um, and it, it's not even in its infancy, um, and I've had good

conversations with people, but it's it ultimately a distraction from what now seems like a

clear path if I can be brave enough to stick it out. Bramble would require the same, uh, bravery, so

yeah. So that's amazing, dude. I, um, uh, meant so that's so bittersweet, uh, it's hard to

react, but uh, um, I'm proud of you for coming to those thoughts and, and asking yourself an

hard question about what you really want and what's the right thing to do and, um, um, yeah, that's, that's

tough, man. Yeah, I think back in the day, I think I would, I would think about this has to be announced.

I have to tell people, is like, no, no, I can just stop doing it. Um, you know, the, the same number of

people who aren't signing up now would be the same number of people who don't care that there isn't

this thing that they didn't know existed. It can just sunset. It can just sunset. Um, and it might be the

the one person that I have to say, listen, I know you moved over. You were, I'd actually said to them,

like, wait, because we're not ready, and then she would like, no, I want to do it, uh, which was

beautiful and lovely. I, you know, it might be the time to say sooner rather than later. Perhaps,

it's worth moving back. Um, yeah. Um, but hey, hoe, uh, we move on. Um, and, uh, uh, and what's

not what's, and, um, you've been, you've been, you've been hard at work. I have, yeah, I've also been,

I spent this week doing, doing some doing. Um, I had, I had the proud, I had the proud and, and I

lated feeling of, uh, of painting the baby's room as the expectant father before before the, and like,

there's no, there's no announcement yet. There's nothing, nothing coming in the, in the pipes, but I was

going to say, I thought I thought, I thought, I thought, I thought, I thought, I thought, I thought, I thought, I thought,

thought that I'd missed it. I don't know. No, there's no announcement. Well, we're, we're going to

start trying earlier in the year and next in the new year, but, um, but I'm, I'm working on the room

now because, uh, I have a bunch of projects here that I, at the, at the, at the cottage that I really want

to finish before, uh, before the baby comes and including the baby's room itself, which I started to do

first because, um, it's inside the house and it feels very tumultuous to have kind of a construction area

going, um, the, the way that our, the way that our house is laid up is, uh, there's this big,

el-shaped awkward bedroom in the back of the house. And so we added a, um, a little zigzag wall

to make it to rectangles with closets. And, um, and they're both, they're both pretty tiny rooms,

but that's a really kind of fine for me because like, the, the bedroom is really just for a bed

and clothes, like, don't hang out in the bedroom or anything like that. All the hanging out

comes in the big nice living room that, uh, that used to be a living room and a bedroom, but then I combine

those two rooms to make a big open floor plan. And so, sorry, sacrifice to bedroom and then I added

a smaller bedroom and that works out great, but this been, it's been taken a long time to get the, uh,

the, the, the, the second of the two new bedrooms finished. And so now I'm working on that and

getting the walls painted and nice, uh, chai. And, are you can see behind me, I've got, uh, I've got some

bookcases I'm working on and, uh, there's a, there's a little bench down below, um,

that has, it has a pull up, uh, a pull up, put your block thing for storage underneath and stuff

and I'm really, really proud of it. I've got, like, oak in layers and, like, a mint green paint that kind

of, it looks like a, with, with, uh, not oak walnut, uh, with the walnut and the mint kind of

looks like a chocolate chip mint kind of ice cream color and it's, it's just kind of really classy,

like I'm just super happy with it. So, um, so that's what I've been doing, I've been doing that a lot

as, as well as working on, working on rock star, meeting with, meeting with some clients, got a new

client call and declined the project because, um, their house is kind of like sinking into the sand beneath

their house and not, it's not, it's not stable. And so I don't want to be respond, they actually did

a, they did a project a year ago and that, the, the, the contractor definitely messed up. There was

some bad work done, but I think also because the house is sinking that, it's like compounded and I'm like,

I can't take on that response, I can't take on that liability, um, so you have to, you have to fix all

of that before I can come in and even give you an estimate. And then also, uh, after the end of last

podcast, I had my interview with Brighton Bush and that went, that went really well. So, uh, also kind of

bittersweet, um, they absolutely want me to come and work. And they are excited for me, like, the,

I am, I am a, I must have. So, I will be going to Brighton Bush to work and help rebuild after their fires

and try to restore it to its former glory, the glory that I knew in its heyday in 2015. The bad news

is that they, um, they really want somebody to just kind of be independent and move their full time

and not have ties to other things, which completely understand. Like, they just, they want somebody

tighten a community, because they have a very tight community to think going on and I get it and it's just

not where I'm at in my life right now. I want to keep rockstar, I want to keep my house. I want Margaret

to keep her, um, her career trajectory going and, um, it's just not the right time for us to all move

to Brighton Bush. So, it might happen in the future. We might build a good rapport and a good

connection and it might be a better time in the future and I might just, you know, apply for a full time.

Yes, one of their full times goes away and then I can fill in that spot. So, it's kind of

great all around. The only, the biggest downside is that I don't get the, um, I don't get the

health insurance that I wanted. Health insurance is so freaking expensive here, not only as expensive,

but it's just garbage. It doesn't cover anything. And so I, as an independent contractor,

I had to buy my own insurance. I have to go into a marketplace and buy it. And it'll be at least $500

a month for the shittiest insurance that doesn't really cover anything. It's like, okay, if you have to

use the emergency room, you'll be okay after like a $10,000 deductible. But otherwise, like,

it's not, it's not worth it. It doesn't help you at all. Um, and, you know, to get anything good,

you're paying at least $6 or $700 a month or more, probably. Um, and so it's hard for me as a

capacorn, as a nine, as, as an anti-capitalist to at all want to pay an insurance company this much,

like, like, I would much rather put that into a money market account or something and have that

make an 8% interest or more than, um, then pay those middlemen who are just going to be stealing my

money, eventually, like, that's just, that's just the way they work. They make a lot of money because we all

pay into it. And, uh, anyway, that's not the point. Because it's, it's gambling. Yeah, yeah, it's gambling.

Yeah, you know, um, which is illegally most of your states. Thanks. Yeah, we just dress it up in different

ways and call it important. Uh, we gamble with our lives and livelihoods. That's, that's what

we do instead. It's all just, you know, it's, it's just, it's a bet that I bet this doesn't happen. And

that's just like, I hate it. I hate it. I absolutely hate it. Um, because it is, it's just, it's, it's

penicious and, um, recently, I, I, it's a friend of the family who has been absolutely screwed by

insurers because I, it's not my story to tell, but it made me so angry. It is so unfair. Um,

what's happening to this person, um, because an insurance company wants to protect, you know,

that because they don't want to pay out, they know that the person they've insured is in the wrong.

Um, and that, you know, my, my family friend is, is in the right, they know that this is the

case. But that's not good enough. They want, they want to give them an, and it's just, it's sickening.

It's sickening. Yeah. Yeah. The only successful times I've had with insurance companies is like,

when the payout is like $500, but when, when it's an actual substantial payout, then they, they do

not, they do not for a go for it. They'll, they'll find any little thing. Um,

that was, it was an interesting experience. This, the project that I have, this lawsuit over,

was an insurance project. Uh, so the guy's house flooded a, a pipe burst and then flooded the house

for, for like weeks while he was, um, on the other side of the country and his, his water company called

him up and he's like, hey, are you, are you trying to use this much water? It was like a $20,000

water bill for a month and when it's normally like $200, which is also insane. But not the, not the point.

And, uh, and so, so his whole house is flooded. It had to be gutted from, from the ceiling down,

everything was taken out and, um, my job was to come in and give an estimate for how much everything would

be. It should work with the insurance company to get the most, um, of a, uh, a payment out of what was

done because also, another reason why I was came in specifically was, um, my work with recording

studios and soundproofing and there was a converted garage that had a recording studio in it.

And they, you know, they were like, we do houses. We don't do recording studios. We don't know

how much to suit be. And so I gave all the proper information for that. And, um, um,

anyways, long story short, um, I, I actually did, I actually did make some headway with the insurance

company. I did get the client more money than they would have gotten, which felt really good.

But then they, uh, they just decided that the client, uh, decided that it was going to take too long

for for me to come out and do the work and they wanted to work faster, um, and, uh, and did the contract,

which, we get that's fine. That's is right to do. But I still, I took my payment for all the

consulting work I had done and he's suing me for that, for that money. And it's just kind of like,

well, you know, people are going to people. People are going to people. So I guess it's only been

a week. There's, there's not much more on that. Yeah. No, we got, uh, the, the next, the next, um,

bit of information should come December 11th when I have the CCB mediation.

I'm just going, it's going to be, it's going to be interesting because, uh, I mean, like, I have nothing

to give him. I can't, there's not really going to be any negotiation here. Like, there's no,

I'm not going to do the work. I can't, I can't do the work for him because, um, he has proven

himself to be an untrusty person. And even the CCB, which is the governing body that monitors contractors

and, and contractor customer relations, they say that if you, if you can tell that a client is potentially

litigious, you should not work for them because it's going to be bad for you. Like, believe that to somebody else.

I'm like, okay, I'm going to follow the CCB's recommendation here because, like, obviously they

are litigious and they change, they change their mind. They, like, and that's fine and personal can change

their mind, but I can't work with that. And, uh, and some other reasons as well. But, like,

so it's all like I can do the work. I don't have any money to give him. And, um, like, all he wants

his, his money back and I'm like, well, I don't have that to give you. This is not there

because that was used for life. Yeah. That was the point of the payment that was, um, but he,

you've rendered some, and so yeah, exactly. It's, it's just, just because it's someone's time

people think that they can get, like, no, like, because it's not a shirt that you, that you,

you can get, you know, if you return the shirt, you don't have the shirt anymore. You can't get

the time back. You Brendan can't get that time back. You spent it. Yeah. Unless, unless he has a way to return

that time to me. And then I would gladly find $40,000 to be able to give it, give him back his money

because I'm going to make way more money from being able to return time to myself and finding out

that process than $40,000 is going to be, that's a bargain. I'm going to be a chagillionaire.

I wonder if that is, you know, the mentality is that people think of time as a commodity in that

way and some of it can just be returned. You know, they don't think, yeah, there's labor that's

gone into this stuff. And yet, and that only ever gets to happen once that can't happen again,

it can't be revoked. And so, sorry that it didn't work out, but yeah, anyway, should we move on to,

onto other things? Yeah, I've been, so while I've been working, I've been, I've been listening to

this book called "Think You For Being Late" things by Thomas Friedman. I think this is the name

as the author. He's a New York Times colonist. And so I used to be, I used to be all into tech. I used to follow

all the tech podcasts, Apple podcasts, and so interested in it. In the last year,

I just really dropped off. I listened to, or I read this book called "Digital Minimalism" by

Cal Newhart, Newport? Yeah, I would guess Newport because Cal Newport writes books like that.

Yeah, and it has this challenge in it for a month to not use any tech screens, not use any

any electronics that you can avoid. Do all your work on your laptop and then close it when you're done.

And it really made a difference for me. Like I was already kind of trending that way, but that

really helped put the nail in the coffin. And I really stopped listening to podcasts like tremendously

going from like 24 episodes a day to like two a week. And it's been, it's been great,

anyways, not point. So I've been out of the technology sphere for a while, which is actually kind of

funny, because this book was written a couple years ago. And so it's all the same. It's up to date with

where I already was. Like there's no new information in this. But and it kind of felt like it

feels like, because he's writing about the, and it this point in the book, like how fast technology

is moving and how fast it's growing. And it feels like it's obsolete as he's writing it. Like

there's not even as it's published. But like as he's writing it down, it's already like, you know,

way past it's time. I didn't notice it's been, it's been giving me a little bit of anxiety. I do feel like,

you know, I times I feel like I'm so behind. And so out of touch and like I'm already becoming a

commudgeon and and a lullaby to all those things. But at the same time, I'm like, you know, I'll

have that feeling. I'll recognize that feeling. And then I'll be like, that really doesn't matter.

Like everybody can be on their tech stuff. But we're all still people in this meat space. Like we're just,

I, you know, I'm on this process to be more connected with the earth and not with a

silicon, you know, like or the computer screens and all that kind of stuff. So that that's been

helping me. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm really excited for the part of the book that tells me how to feel

better about this. Like right now because I'm still in that the first half, what's telling you all the

crisis part. And then they tell you, you know, the good stuff at the end. It's called, thank you for being

late. And so I'm, I'm expecting that there's something good about not being on the forefront of

technology. But there was, there was one bit that was kind of like, that was very cringy and shocking to me.

And this is old news. This has happened a couple years ago. But have you seen the Tom Cruise classic

minority report? Yeah. And you remember like how he's walking down the street and all the, all the,

the, the advertisements and no exactly, they say his name and like, oh, he's John, you want to

get, yeah, yeah, the personalized advertisements. This already exists. And it's probably existed a while ago.

But it's, it exists in this way that I did not fathom. There's, there's a section in Michigan on the

freeways where clear channel billboards, one of the biggest advertisers in the United States,

they use, they use sensors along the freeway to capture, uh, mac addresses of the cell phones in people's

in pockets and in their phones to know who they are and put up, uh, put up, like, change the screen,

the Billboard screen that, that, that, that all the people are driving by. What I assume is that they

take an aggregate, like, oh, there's a lot of Duncan doughnuts fans coming up the pike. Let's put

a Duncan doughnuts ad up on the screen. That, I don't know exactly what they're algorithm. But yeah,

it's so gross dude. It's so gross. Like, I, and it've also heard like that, that, that, this happens

in stores too. Like, they, they, they use the proximity of how long you stay by a certain display

to know, oh, we should enhance this or change this and this and that. And I, I'm kind of like,

okay, if you want to use data to change how you're doing things, okay, maybe fine, that's still gross.

But when it's like directly, oh, you're coming, I'm going to show you something that I think is going

to convince you to buy. Bye, bye, bye, and it's just, it shakes me, it shakes my fiber of my being.

I don't know if this is helpful or not, but it, that feels to me like a test that was set up,

because I don't think you can just sniff someone's macadress without your machine opting into

telling someone that it exists. I don't even as a way to just read to sniff for these addresses.

I think what has to happen is maybe there's an integration with a, you know, a sell tower,

but that feels like a big, that feels like he's getting into conspiracy territory.

It doesn't look a test, since it's always only in Michigan.

Yeah, exactly. And it might even be an opt-in thing. It could be, because it's such a, I mean,

yes, as you say in agriculture, but that's also a violation. And also, I think Apple, for example,

I mean, this is getting deep into tech, but I kind of want to do this, they pursue many sort of

yeah, yeah, it's clear, I think Apple don't reveal macadresses. In the way that they can be sniffed,

they think they're randomized, so you would get no useful information from them anyway.

But obviously it doesn't stop people trying and it doesn't stop Android phones, you know, doing what they want to do.

But yeah, I mean, I remember a couple of years, last year of the year before hearing a podcast,

where this guy was being interviewed, he was sponsoring the podcast, and so as part of his sponsorship,

he got to talk about his product for a bit. And his, his idea was like audio cue our coach.

And so you would hear a tone or a message or something, and you would just tap your phone and it would go to that website.

Cool enough, the nice enough idea is that is the tone as ugly as the cue I could image?

Yeah, I mean, I can be able to get my brain exactly. And so the whole premise is predicated on,

well, you've got to listen in our app or you've got to, you know, you've got to have this thing in April.

That's like, no one's going to do that, buddy. No one's going to download an app just so that they can be advertised to.

It's such that it's that rampant consumerism that the things people are so excited about,

hearing about brands, no they fucking on.

Get out of your, you know, your marketing, mad man, you know, mad as an avenue or whatever it is,

it's not Madison Avenue is it, you know, that whole, that whole thing, that whole mad man nonsense.

Like, get your head out. People don't worship at the heart, the, the, the whole of the church,

your brand, they tolerate advertising. And everyone in everyone in advertising talks about,

actually advertising is content and it fucking isn't. We tolerate it. You love advertising because

it pays you a hell of a lot of money. Oh, God, it's so good to talk about this. So much in the industry about,

like, everything is about advertising. And as if it is this legit, and it's like, it's not illegitimate,

but get your head out of your ass. Like, it is not what you think it is. You're big into it because it

pays you a huge amount of money. We don't want it. We tolerate it because we know what the,

the alternative is. We here in the UK live both. We live the, we pay a license fee that gives us a

phenomenal amount of stuff. I mean, young people, they're young people today, don't get this. And

so there's this like rebellion against the, the license fee because they don't actually understand

what it gives you because they think it gives you BBC one and BBC two and a kids TV channel that

they don't watch. Okay, gives you, it gives you about six different TV channels that broadcast either

12 or 24 hours a day. And then it gives you a news channel that broadcast 24 hours a day with journalists

from around the world that are posted where things are happening. There's a huge website with news

and up-to-date information. There's a huge content library that it's one of the biggest streaming,

so one of the best streaming, and one of the first online streaming services that existed,

there's sports coverage, there's all these various different things. They fund other projects,

they make digital shorts, they put on events out in the world, they educate people, they were teachers

during COVID and all of this for about a kind of what it is about 70, 20 years. That's a astonishingly

good deal and we don't get advertising. And then we have all the other TV channels where we do.

Honestly, I'd say that is an amazing deal and very good value for money, but also I would bristle

that paying that too because I'm happy it exists and happy that people can use it, but I wouldn't

I don't. And I respect it. I've listened to some BBC, that BBC four, some of those comedy shows

were fucking great songworse. Oh man, amazing. And I've re-tomenously respect the journalism,

but I just don't. Yeah, but then I mean what other things do you not use in your society right now?

That it's like, I don't drive on this stretch of road, but I'm paying for it. Yeah, that's because

how infrastructure do, that's how it be. Yeah, it's one of those weird things that maybe the media

study student, because I went into media studies, having little respect for the BBC, just thinking

they are, they're old fashioned and they're all this and I just, you know, I began to respect

what they do a lot more and as I've got older, I'm just like, yeah, I'm more and more in favor. And

yeah, like the bill comes through and I'm like, Jesus, but it's a lot less than what you pay for,

you know, certainly now for Netflix and that's and that's what I'm saying. Like the the eye player is

Netflix, but then they do everything else and there isn't this thought of, you know, we don't

get product placement in our TV shows, you know, in BBC shows, that's not allowed. You get them in

other places, you know, and other channels, but like it's not allowed. I was speaking of

product placement. I think I told you about how much I love the most recent season of Loki.

It blew me away, but there's some heavy product placement and it's like a little bit like

respect, you know, you're not trying to hide it at all. But this is just, thank you McDonald's

for making this season of this, of this show possible because this is glorious television.

I don't really care that you're plastered in front of everything every ever. It's yeah, I do know,

I don't know why I get so like, I think I really do get quite animated about certain things. And I just

think it's that like whenever anyone has like such a reverence for their own, you know, they drink their own

piss and they love it so much. I'm just like, harm your jets and stop making us try and drink it and tell us

it's chocolate milk. I'm going to circle back to something you said. You're initial trying to

to quail my fears. You said that you think you think that this is a test. And I heard the I heard

test in a different context. I heard it in the TVM context of like, this is triggering me. I am,

and I was just talking to Margaret about how I, I don't really feel like I am. I don't know where my

tests are. I don't feel triggered often as I've been working on this sense of calm and serenity

and peace and acceptance with everything. And I truly achieved a lot of it and I just feel so

centered and so calm and like, well, have I just ruined my like ability to know where I need to

improve because I still want to improve. I know I'm not perfect. I know I've got stuff to do. And so

so I recognize, I'm recognizing that, you know, like I said, this book is giving me a little bit of

anxiety and I'm definitely going to trigger by things like custom advertising and that's something for me to

work. I don't really know exactly what to do with that trigger besides taking it into the trigger

DIA. But we'll see. Yeah, I might my instinct is to think, don't go looking for triggers like,

they will actually, you know, you will know when they really happen, you know what I mean? Like,

because if right now you're feeling stable, I say, like live with that. Yeah, and enjoy that

for as long as it lasts because it won't last forever. You know, not to be, you know, doing it,

it's just nature of life. A trigger will come like, don't worry about that. Yeah. Yeah,

yeah, I think an opportunity for self-improvement, I'm sure will arise. But yeah, you don't,

you don't need to force it because you've done a lot of work and I think you get to bask for a bit.

And I think you absolutely, you've earned that rest and you've earned that ability just to

look jewelry and this and just, yeah, and just absolutely the, do the positive version of wallowing,

which I guess is basking in this. I've done a lot. I've run a big race and I'm just going to

take an easy for a bit and then at some point. Yeah, it's at some point. Someone's something

that's going to come across. And they'll be a new adventure. They'll be a new hero that needs,

that needs my help and I'll be the mentor and whatever. They'll be a new, you know, whatever.

Perhaps not. But I've yet to start delving into the whole sort of tests and triggers and,

you know, those, those bits, some of the language in the, in the program, I'm still a bit unfamiliar with,

but I will be hoping to do maybe not today because I'm so doctored. But yes, get back into a bit more of

the program. Because I blasted through a couple of bits because I've already done sort of some of it

beforehand. Only like a few days before and the first week of this challenge has been very recappy

of like your previous year and it's not really a lot of new content per science, the sleep

die, which is great. Cameron and I both feel like, I mean, in Margot, I think to, um,

that one just puts us right to sleep, which is really, really fantastic. Yeah, I did something that

I haven't done in a long time and it didn't completely work, but it got me nearly all the way there,

which is, um, as a kid, I went through a phase of listening to, don't laugh. I went through a phase of listening

to Mike Oldfield's tubular bells too. I don't know if you were aware of any of what those words

mean. Never heard of any of that. So, you know, the film, uh, the excessist. Yes, I'm aware of that one.

Do you know the piece of music from it? I think if I heard it, I'd be like, oh yeah, okay.

That's the music from the excess. Um, yeah, it's a piece, it's so it's a buy-in-this musician who was

basically the world biggest music nerd. That's basically what he was. Um, very talented musician.

I once saw him, I watched a video of him doing what he do, um, and he's just a, just an,

nerd, just an absolute, like music nerd. Um, for, you know, different types of instruments and

synthesizers and all this kind of stuff. And I believe, I don't know if it's true, but I believe,

but the folklore anyway, I think, is that this album, tubular bells, he played every instrument on it.

I don't know if that's true. Um, but the idea is, and so it's got this, it opens with this.

Which is what was also used in the excessist. Um, and it goes off, and it's a big pro-grock

album, basically, where I was interested in following up and see if this is something you have,

like, if you're listening to music, maybe you've got your own close to whatever, or you're sort of

idly looking around, are you seeing images or things popping in for you? Or is it just all about the

the audio? I don't know. Uh, I definitely could have absorbed in the music, and I'm not really

thinking about images. I can, um, I can see images, and like sometimes like, if something in particular

seems really imagery, like, it can come to mind, but in general, I'm not thinking about images. I'm just

kind of like, uh, I'm usually more feeling the movement of it and kind of moving my body along with

it or shaking or that kind of thing. That's much more my style of listening.

I had one, one last little bit that I wanted to say about things for being late. Um,

and this is just something that kind of seems like a no-da to me now, but it never occurred to me.

The usage of fiber optic cable, um, in my, in my head, it was always just either white light or red

light, because that's what I've seen in like a spadef cable. Um, and it never occurred to me that

not only can fiber optic cables transfer pulses of light, but they can do different colors too. That could

be a whole spectrum of colors that could be red, and so you can just get that much more data going

through, because you have multiple layers of, um, of, of data that can transfer through the cable.

And then they also said that there's something about like, they're either working on or I've already

made ways of shaping the light within the cable, which that's beyond my understanding of what that really

means, but like then that's just a third layer of data that can transfer through the cable. And then you

could potentially transfer things that like equivalent to faster than the speed of light, because you're

going, well, not really, but like it's just, it's like, the speed doesn't go faster, but like

the amount that you can take that quickly is just fascinating. Um, I don't really have anything about

that, but I just thought that was really crazy. It struck me in the book. I do like, I like how much,

I like how much music and singing we've done in this episode. Yes. I'm very, I'm very happy with that.

And I'm also thinking, I mean, yeah, just sitting with, I've got these headphones, but these are

my work headphones. I don't have AirPods Max, but it would be fun to just sit and look

jewellery it in some music. Um, you know, the stuff I used to, you know, just sat playing records

and not doing anything else. Such a, you know, those are really lovely memories actually. I have

with my family is is, you know, a lazy Sunday, my brothers may be out playing, doing, playing some football

or something and me, my mum and dad, crowding around the record player and, you know, they're bringing

me up to speed with, you know, educating me in terms of what they listen to. And, you know, I can

remember the first time I ever heard Bob Marley's Buffalo soldier. Like, I know where I was. And,

and it was, it was one of those, it was one of those moments. And, and all we did, that was the activity.

It wasn't, you know, what do we do as well? It's no, we're listening to records. Music is the point.

Yeah. And discussing it maybe or yeah, or move in, you know, putting on coal,

or whoever it was, you know, kung fu fighting and dancing around, and, you know, and kicking

and playing karate and all those kinds of things, you know, like, it's been, and it's all just inspired by

the music. I mean, I used to roller skate in my front, in my back garden with the radio on.

And make little music videos in my head. Like, as I was going past, and I remember,

my mum and my brother watching me and having no clue what I was doing. Because in my head,

like, I would cycle past and I would do weird motions. You know, in time with the music. And because

I, in my head, I was like, the camera, the camera is where the, the, the, the, the French window,

not French windows, but where the patio doors are. And so I'm doing stuff, but I'm not looking

through the window. Sure. I'm, I've got my back turn, but like, I'm like, yeah, I'm doing all the

thrown all these shapes for the camera that's in my head because I'm making the music video. And I would do

it, well, things like I would peek around and I would, you know, look, I wave my hand. Because in my head,

I've just, I've built the people, like, and then, you know, I realize my brother and my mum are just

watching me. Just what is he to? Because he's not looking like he's no idea where they're. And he's

like, every now and again, he's just sideling up to the window, waving his hand and then going back

against the roller skating back again. What is this mental kid doing? And it was like, my head

will make it a music video. Play and movement and expression. Expression. Expression for sure.

Just needed the warmth. You know, that was all it was missing.

, I want to do a sing. Yeah, I know, what we, what were you singing when you,

when you, when you popped up midnight rain? It's not rain. I can't get it out of my head.

don't get what I'm gonna get a lesson.